WTF IS THE WORLD COMING TO

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WTF IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your
> house faster than an ambulance.
>
>
> 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking
> places in front of a skating rink.
>
>
> 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick
> walk all the way to the back of the store to get
> their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
> cigarettes at the front.
>
>
> 4. Only in America......do people order double
> cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
>
>
> 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors
> open and then chain the pens to the counters.
>
>
> 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth
> thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our
> useless junk in the garage.
>
>
> 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines
> to screen calls and then have call waiting so we
> won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
> talk to in the first place.
>
>
> 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in
> packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
>
>
> 9. Only in America......do we use the word
> 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli'
> in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
> 'bloodsucking creatures'
>
> .
> 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's
> with Braille lettering.
>
>
> EVER WONDER
> Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
>
>
> Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth
> closed?
>
>
> Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins
> Lottery"?
>
>
> Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
>
>
> Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
>
>
> Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
> dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
>
>
> Why is the man who invests all your money called a
> broker?
>
>
> Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic
> called rush hour?
>
>
> Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
>
>
> When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests
> it?
>
>
> Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
>
>
> Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal
> injections?
>
>
> You know that indestructible black box that is used
> on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane
> out of that stuff??
>
>
> Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
>
>
> Why are they called apartments when they are all
> stuck together?
>
>
> If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the
> opposite of progress?
>
>
> If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
> the terminal?
>
>
> ------------------
> In case you needed further proof that the human race
> is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual
> label instructions on consumer goods:
>
>
> On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (
> that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
>
>
> On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No
> purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter
> special)?
>
>
> On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like
> regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
>
>
> On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
> Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
>
>
> On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do
> not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late,
> huh)!
>
>
> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be
> hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
>
>
> On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron
> clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more
> time?)
>
>
> On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a
> car or operate machinery after taking this
> medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate
> of construction accidents if we could just get those
> 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
>
>
> On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
> (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)
>
>
> On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
> outdoor use only." (as opposed to...w hat?)
>
>
> On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for
> the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on
> this. I'm a bit curious.)
>
>
> On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
> (talk about a news flash)
>
>
> On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3:
> maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>
>
> On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this
> garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame
> the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
>
>
> On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain
> with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of
> this happening somewhere?)
>
>
> Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn
> to spread the stupidity and Post this so someone you
> want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in
> other words, post it for everyone. We all need to
> smile every once in a while.

{MARILYN MANSON}

WTF IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

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